Marriage Isn't For You, And It's Not For Him Either
Social media has done it again!
Seth Adam Smith, has swept across social media with a post he’s called “marriage Isn't For You."
With all that wildfire, there have been some resounding YES’s and some heated NO’s!
One of which was posted on the Huffington post by Wayne Self entitled
“Young Singles, Seth Adam Smith's "Marriage Advice Isn't for You”.
So what’s the heat all about?
Where do you stand?
What’s the big deal with Marriage anyways?
Seth Adam Smith, has swept across social media with a post he’s called “marriage Isn't For You."
With all that wildfire, there have been some resounding YES’s and some heated NO’s!
One of which was posted on the Huffington post by Wayne Self entitled
“Young Singles, Seth Adam Smith's "Marriage Advice Isn't for You”.
So what’s the heat all about?
Where do you stand?
What’s the big deal with Marriage anyways?
Well here’s my stance on the subject.
Both of these articles have interesting ideology, and both are greatly flawed.
Marriage from a Christian perspective, as opposed to Seth’s Mormon view and ‘Uncle Wayne’s’ liberal view on marriage, is that marriage is not about you……and it’s not about your spouse.
The Biblical view of Marriage is this:
It’s about Godliness.
The Bible has more than a few things to say about God’s
design and purpose for marriage.
Starting with the burden of marriage and the great calling to remain celibate and unmarried.
If you can go through life without the burning desire of sexual intimacy, then you are better able to serve God if you are not burdened with marriage. ( 1 Corinthians 7:8-9)
Marriage is a burden.
It’s is important that we understand this.
We send young couples into a marriage with an ideology that, to quote the beetles:
All you need is love
Although love and passion are often at the forefront of our choice to marry, and are valuable traits to grow and cultivate in marriage, love is a choice we make that comes with a price.
For we know that choosing to love a spouse means that we choose to be kind, patient, to not be jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
When we choose love, we choose to not demand our own way.
We choose to not be irritable, and to not keep record of wrongs.
But instead we choose to rejoice in truth and to never give up or lose faith, we choose to be hopeful, and endure through every circumstance. (1 Cor 13:4-7)
That calling is more then we could ever actually do.
God knew that we are unable to have a healthy, thriving marriage without His work in our lives.
For who could possibly live out this description of love?
Jesus can, and he does.
This brings me to my second point:
Godly marriage is a picture of our intimate relationship to the true bridegroom.
You see this marriage will only last in this life, we do not take it with us. (Matt 22:30)
We have not prepared our children enough with this important truth.
Marriage is not the purpose of our Christian life...
Serving God is.
Some of us will be called to serve God without being married, and some of us will choose to enter into a marriage covenant and serve God through it.
Starting with the burden of marriage and the great calling to remain celibate and unmarried.
If you can go through life without the burning desire of sexual intimacy, then you are better able to serve God if you are not burdened with marriage. ( 1 Corinthians 7:8-9)
Marriage is a burden.
It’s is important that we understand this.
We send young couples into a marriage with an ideology that, to quote the beetles:
All you need is love
Although love and passion are often at the forefront of our choice to marry, and are valuable traits to grow and cultivate in marriage, love is a choice we make that comes with a price.
For we know that choosing to love a spouse means that we choose to be kind, patient, to not be jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
When we choose love, we choose to not demand our own way.
We choose to not be irritable, and to not keep record of wrongs.
But instead we choose to rejoice in truth and to never give up or lose faith, we choose to be hopeful, and endure through every circumstance. (1 Cor 13:4-7)
That calling is more then we could ever actually do.
God knew that we are unable to have a healthy, thriving marriage without His work in our lives.
For who could possibly live out this description of love?
Jesus can, and he does.
This brings me to my second point:
Godly marriage is a picture of our intimate relationship to the true bridegroom.
You see this marriage will only last in this life, we do not take it with us. (Matt 22:30)
We have not prepared our children enough with this important truth.
Marriage is not the purpose of our Christian life...
Serving God is.
Some of us will be called to serve God without being married, and some of us will choose to enter into a marriage covenant and serve God through it.
I am perplexed and frustrated by the lack of discussion,
within the Christian church, about this!
It seems to me that somewhere along the way we started shifting our focus from serving God to serving our spouse.
Paul makes it clear in his words to the Corinthian church, that THIS is the danger of getting married!
Your attention and devotion can be so easily divided! (1 Cor. 7:32-35)
We should always bear in mind that we are first and foremost called to serve God, and secondly to serve our spouse.
As we serve our spouse we do so with the purpose of seeing them better able to serve God!
For the witness of a serving spouse is so strong that it can even bring the unsaved spouse to a place of redemption with Christ!
Because when we serve God, people are saved.
There is no other way, for the whole reason and purpose of God is this redemptive work.
When we submit our lives to God and serve Him first, the natural consequence is, lives around us are changed.
This is not to say that no one should marry.
Paul says this so that we can have freedom to serve God best, knowing our weaknesses and strengths.
We as a society of Christians need to counteract the worldly view that there is something wrong with the unmarried.
Instead see that they are being called to a work for God that we as married people cannot do.
We must hold them in high esteem.
For the world will break them down.
We can hold them up and call out God’s work and purpose in their lives!
It seems to me that somewhere along the way we started shifting our focus from serving God to serving our spouse.
Paul makes it clear in his words to the Corinthian church, that THIS is the danger of getting married!
Your attention and devotion can be so easily divided! (1 Cor. 7:32-35)
We should always bear in mind that we are first and foremost called to serve God, and secondly to serve our spouse.
As we serve our spouse we do so with the purpose of seeing them better able to serve God!
For the witness of a serving spouse is so strong that it can even bring the unsaved spouse to a place of redemption with Christ!
Because when we serve God, people are saved.
There is no other way, for the whole reason and purpose of God is this redemptive work.
When we submit our lives to God and serve Him first, the natural consequence is, lives around us are changed.
This is not to say that no one should marry.
Paul says this so that we can have freedom to serve God best, knowing our weaknesses and strengths.
We as a society of Christians need to counteract the worldly view that there is something wrong with the unmarried.
Instead see that they are being called to a work for God that we as married people cannot do.
We must hold them in high esteem.
For the world will break them down.
We can hold them up and call out God’s work and purpose in their lives!
Paul describes a healthy marriage by calling husbands to
love, as Christ has loved us.
To wash us in God’s word, to care for us. (Eph 5:25-30)
JUST AS CHRIST HAS DONE FOR THE CHURCH.
Wives, we are called to submit to our husbands, AS THE CHURCH SUBMITS TO CHRIST.
Do you see the picture yet?
When our marriage is filled with two people who are actively serving God, then we serve our spouses by loving and submitting.
This is the picture of the true marriage that is coming.
Christ has come for his bride, the church.
Christ demonstrates his love for his bride by loving her, washing her in his words and providing for her.
Her, the churches, response is to submit to the authority of the one who loves her!
Have you swooned yet?
Can you get that picture and understand that our marriage on this earth is a metaphor for the relationship that we have with our Lord?
Do you see that this is only able to happen in a marriage where two people are actively serving God?
To wash us in God’s word, to care for us. (Eph 5:25-30)
JUST AS CHRIST HAS DONE FOR THE CHURCH.
Wives, we are called to submit to our husbands, AS THE CHURCH SUBMITS TO CHRIST.
Do you see the picture yet?
When our marriage is filled with two people who are actively serving God, then we serve our spouses by loving and submitting.
This is the picture of the true marriage that is coming.
Christ has come for his bride, the church.
Christ demonstrates his love for his bride by loving her, washing her in his words and providing for her.
Her, the churches, response is to submit to the authority of the one who loves her!
Have you swooned yet?
Can you get that picture and understand that our marriage on this earth is a metaphor for the relationship that we have with our Lord?
Do you see that this is only able to happen in a marriage where two people are actively serving God?
This is the perfect model, but the truth is.
This kind of marriage is utterly romantic and filled with beauty.
But our real marriages are filled with hurt and pain.
How do we live out this kind of Godly marriage in the fallen and broken reality of our world?
By serving God first.
Your marriage and my marriage are not about us, and they are not about our spouse.
They are about our relationship with God.
Men, it’s hard to love an angry and bitter wife.
God wants you to submit to Him, to grow and cultivate a relationship with Jesus Christ and as you do so you will start to be transformed into the image of God and He alone will give you the strength and ability to lavish love on even an angry, critical and bitter wife.
Wives, it is hard to respect and submit to the authority of a harsh and cold husband.
God has asked you to serve Him.
As you submit to the authority of Christ in your life, God will give you the strength and wisdom to show honor and submit to your husband.
Both husbands and wives are first and foremost called to serve God.
If your spouse is asking you to do anything that God has convicted you of, that you know to be sin, you are not to submit to him/her.
Instead submit to God.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you not alone.
God does not want you to stay in an abusive marriage, seek help.
We are not
perfect.
This kind of marriage is utterly romantic and filled with beauty.
But our real marriages are filled with hurt and pain.
How do we live out this kind of Godly marriage in the fallen and broken reality of our world?
By serving God first.
Your marriage and my marriage are not about us, and they are not about our spouse.
They are about our relationship with God.
Men, it’s hard to love an angry and bitter wife.
God wants you to submit to Him, to grow and cultivate a relationship with Jesus Christ and as you do so you will start to be transformed into the image of God and He alone will give you the strength and ability to lavish love on even an angry, critical and bitter wife.
Wives, it is hard to respect and submit to the authority of a harsh and cold husband.
God has asked you to serve Him.
As you submit to the authority of Christ in your life, God will give you the strength and wisdom to show honor and submit to your husband.
Both husbands and wives are first and foremost called to serve God.
If your spouse is asking you to do anything that God has convicted you of, that you know to be sin, you are not to submit to him/her.
Instead submit to God.
If you are in an abusive relationship, you not alone.
God does not want you to stay in an abusive marriage, seek help.
It is important to me
that I share the Biblical view of marriage since I saw so many of my Christian
friends respond to the other articles.
This post was not written by a woman who has been in this perfect marriage.
My marriage has been filled with pain and almost ended.
It was this change in my personal understanding of God’s purpose in marriage that changed my marriage. Life is not perfect, a broken marriage is the hardest and deepest pain I have ever experienced.
When I started to serve God above my marriage, I started to change.
That change in me, freed me up to serve my husband.
We have now been married over 9 years and our marriage continues to grow stronger as we each grow closer to God.
This post was not written by a woman who has been in this perfect marriage.
My marriage has been filled with pain and almost ended.
It was this change in my personal understanding of God’s purpose in marriage that changed my marriage. Life is not perfect, a broken marriage is the hardest and deepest pain I have ever experienced.
When I started to serve God above my marriage, I started to change.
That change in me, freed me up to serve my husband.
We have now been married over 9 years and our marriage continues to grow stronger as we each grow closer to God.
No comments:
Post a Comment